HEY! Don't Bring Me Down!

The title speaks for itself, don't you think? Totally *^^*

For the past few days, I've been feeling tired for some reason. I don't know what the particular reason is so it bothers me a little. It's probably a combination of school, degree requirements, work, and the personal life. Why the sudden thoughts? It is because I realize there is so much I need to accomplish and complete before I actually get to go back to Korea. It sucks, but that's the reality of things.

I feel behind on school and I am to blame, no one else. I am trying right now but for some reason me trying doesn't seem good enough. How much will it take? I don't know. I am so over school but no... I must keep working at it. Work is the same but there is a flood of new workers, all males. I should be happy but I am feeling a big overwhelmed with them. Why can't it just be the original Cafe Venti team? It doesn't tell that Imo and Imobo are trying to set me up with the new workers xD I honestly don't need a guy at the moment. There are other things I am worried about. It's fun to crush though, I just don't want the attachment. How selfish of me, but that's the truth.

High School Drama. I am so over that ship, I have left the dock never to return to it again. But why do stupid people keep bringing it to me though? I seriously have no time or have the desire to waste my time on that. If only things were that simple eh? I am trying to ignore it all but we'll see what happens.

Life works in peculiar ways. Why did it choose me to have all this unnecessary stress?

我想好。我想韩国。

Why the sudden Chinese? lol, I am not too sure myself but I do notice that I start busting out Chinese or Korean when I feel stressed, sad, or angry. Maybe it's a way to relief stress... ^^;

I've been thinking about things that have happened recently, it makes me wonder why things happen to me in the ways they do. Or maybe it's life telling me that I need to break my habits. I am sure we all ahve bad habits we should change but it's easier said then done. I realize how much I care for my friends and get really overprotective. In the end, I don't them to get hurt. One thing is for sure... I am always up to something with guys. Why is it like that? I haven't come up with the answer myself.

I never seem to learn from my mistakes with guys. No matter how much I get played or lead on, I always end up being interested in the same type over and over. But as I think about what has been in Korea, it's okay to put yourself out there. The only way I can grow is to experience it even though the risk of being hurt is there. I have no regrets with everything I've learned about being in love and being in like. What's living without getting hurt and living in the moment right?

The heart grows fonder.

I know I said I wouldn't like him but the more I talk and get to know him... the faster I find myself slowly starting to like him. I do hear the things people have to say and I listen but even then, I still end up being interested. It's not bad to be interested but once the line had been crossed... it's hard to go back until something happens to make it end.

That is something I don't like about myself. No matter what I say or people say, I will end up getting myself attached which leads to being hurt. When will I learn from my mistakes?

Is it possible for a player to change their way? I believe that every player will change when they meet the right person. I have comes to terms that I have player tendencies BUT I'm not one. People need to realize that when I am being nice... I am just being nice and nothing more.